ScumLife

700 Billion Dollar Bailouts Made Simple/ The Economy According to Tone Tank

There are nine zeros in a billion.
There are eleven in 700,000,000,000.

I never really took the time to think about that before this week.

There’s been a lot of talk about this 700B. The point of this 700B is
to buy distressed mortgages. Terms like ‘mortgage-backed securities’
and ‘credit-default swaps’ have been thrown around a lot lately, and
I figured maybe I should try to look into it all, maybe see what all
the banter was about, and try to figure out what this whole situation
means to a person like myself.

In case you’ve been in a padded cell or on an Indian ‘vision quest’
for the past week or so, The Financial World, Wall Street, is aflame
and is looking for our tax dollars (well yours) to put it out. By put
it out I mean give 700B to the very same companies,system, and ideals
that got us into this mess in the first place with all their bang bang,
shoot em up risky investing. All of that, just to carry on the way
it’s been carrying on for as long as I’ve been paying attention, which
is about probably as long as you have been paying attention.

Since this writing is to determine what all of this means to a person
like me, let me rewind a bit and tell you a little bit about the
person most like myself, me.

Ever since I was a child I would walk through the Financial District
of New York City, where the monstrous architecture would make me feel
small. I remember thinking that a regular person could work their
whole life away and still never be able to afford a broom closet in
one of these places. Not that that I wanted to purchase a broom
closet, I just noted that no matter how hard I worked I would never be
able to afford one in one of these buildings. They had an air about
them, like as if perhaps the tops of these buildings throned the Gods,
or Giants, or Giant Gods. They were monuments to powerful men in gray
suits, that would make decisions about things a simple person like me
or you need never understand. It made me feel unimportant and simple.

Maybe they count on that. Maybe they count on confusing us with big
words and buildings, making us feel small, and unimportant until we
figure that we are just simple-minded people and are probably better
leaving these big decisions to the better equipped men of Wall Street.

I don’t claim to be an expert on the economy, but isn’t it our blind
faith in Wall Street, Big Business, and the Trickle Down Theory that
got us into this mess in the first place? We’ve trusted that the men
down on Wall Street have had our best interests in mind…as if it went
without saying. No we haven’t, but our actions say that we have. We
have become dependent upon Big Business. We fear Big Business. We even
worship Big Business and it’s Trickle down Theories. So when they stop
‘trickling’ you stop drinking, so when there’s a talk of a drought you
start panicking and buy into it like war fever.

Now, the thing that grabbed my interest the most about this situation
was hearing an economist on the radio freaking out saying if we don’t
come to the aide of these companies and restore the economy that
people, nor companies will be able to borrow, money and will only be
spending cash as opposed to credit. He said that if it got bad enough
people may even resort to bartering. That’s where my ears perked up.
My credit’s fucked anyway. I’m lucky I’m able to get a library card. I
actually don’t believe in paying back loans to big companies. This
goes for Credit Cards, Student Loans, or any other kind of loan. I
believe in borrowing as much as possible from these bastards and then
disappearing into the night like a hooker who’s john fell asleep with
his wallet on the dresser. These people are in the business of
investment. Sometimes investments don’t pan out, It’s part of the
business. An evil business at that. Ever wonder why they can charge as
much as they do for a house? Credit. They couldn’t charge what they’re
charging without it.

So I say let those monsters come crashing down. Let’s see what happens. I
bet one of those devils alone has enough meat to feed the nation for a
pigs age. It would leave a lot of room for the little guy to set up
shop. Not in the modern sense, like with business presentations,loans
and charts, but simpler like, “You have that, I want that.I have this,
you want this. Let’s trade.”

So what does this mean to a person like me?

Nothing. During The Great Depression the people who jumped from the
ledges of buildings were stockbrokers. Who lost millions. On paper.

I never had millions and I deal with cash anyway. I like cash. It’s
old fashioned like making a deal and shaking on it. No paperwork, no
fine print. It means a lot of people will be running around, talking about the
economy, the way they talk about bad weather or global warming, because
credit, which represents dollars, which represents silver and gold is
in jeopardy of being carried out of here like your crazy old senile
grandmother.

-TONE TANK for Borough President

This entry was posted on Friday, September 26th, 2008 at 4:20 am and is filed under ScumLife. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

One Response to “700 Billion Dollar Bailouts Made Simple/ The Economy According to Tone Tank”

George Walker Says:
July 10th, 2010 at 6:22 am
sometimes it is quite difficult to recover from alcohol abuse. “-”

700 Billion Dollar Bailouts Made Simple/ The Economy According to Tone Tank

One Response to “700 Billion Dollar Bailouts Made Simple/ The Economy According to Tone Tank”

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