I sleep shitty. I initially conditioned myself to fall asleep to comedy records when I was in junior high school. I guess it just kept my mind from wandering. I had a lot of trouble falling asleep before that. I remember spending many a night trying to figure out what percentage of my life had passed. Pretty morbid for a ten year old, but then I bet you had your own problems with junior high school.
The point is I started needing that crutch. I needed a voice to lull me to sleep. It helps if the voice is metered and consistent. Over the past 20, one way or another, I have numbed myself to sleep with the sound of talking. These days I live with my lady and fall asleep with my headphones on listening to a DVD commentary track. Over the course of three nights, I usually finish a movie. If the track merits it, I will stay up for the whole track and fall asleep as it plays a second time. (I leave the headphones on all night, with the DVD on repeat.)
That’ s why my post is about the top 5 guys to seek out for DVD commentary tracks.
Robert Rodriguez - This guy is unstoppable. He can’t help but fill a disc with hyper rambling about the minutia of any project he has done. I lean toward ‘El Mariachi’ and ‘Desperado’ because he is particularly fond of his early work. It shows in his excited reminiscences. Don’t sleep though, he even delivers on ‘Spy Kids 2.’ For a special treat, check out ‘From Dusk Till Dawn’ where he kicks back with Quintin. (Also check out ‘Switchblade Sisters’ where director Jack Hill chats it up with Quintin.
Bruce Campbell/Sam Raimi - Great for the sound of two buddies hanging out while they watch their childhood pass before them. You are really going to want to focus of the ‘Evil Dead’ series. It trumps the Quintin/Rodriguez dynamic because Raimi is always screwing with Campbell. They talk about doing it 20 years ago, and Raimi is still doing it on the track. The sentiment is, “Ha ha, I made you get all dirty and sticky and muddy, just so I could laugh at you. I’m still laughing about it. I laugh at you every day.” But because the two are so close, it seems just barely malicious. More of a celebration of guys fucking with each other. Also, because they are childhood friends, they have similar voices and phrases akin to a Wu-Tang vibe. (Check out the original ‘Evil Dead’ where the pair snap on Campbell’s Wallabees)
Which brings me to…
RZA - I have only found the one appearance, on the most recently issued ‘Master Killer’, or whatever it says on the box. The Gordon Liu joint. This is a dialogue between RZA and some Chinese movie buff whose name I should know but can’t remember at the moment. You will not get closer to watching a kung-fu flick with the Wu-Tang Clan, so you might as well enjoy this taste of what it may have been like to record that first batch of albums. RZA hold his own when it comes to dropping gems about the flick and puts the scholar to shame several times. It is like
some hip-hop virtual reality fantasy camp. Like watching ‘Wattstax’ with Chuck D. (This isn’t made up, that commentary track does exist too.)
Kevin Smith - From the first ‘Clerks’ to the ‘Degrassi’ run, Smith helms round table discussions of all things Smith. If you aren’t a fan of his already, its unlikely that you will want to listen to these thangs. If you can sit through ‘Mallrats,’ you’ll enjoy the commentary track to it. Smith is captain of a ship on these tracks, and they end up like good ensemble talk radio shows. They are pretty much all the same, except ‘Jersey Girl’ is full of shitty apologies.
Three Nerds - Im a dick because instead of looking up who these guys are, I’m just calling them three nerds. O.K. But anyway, a few Sam Pekinpaw (Not even spelled right) movies come with these three dudes who are crazy knowledgeable about him doing tracks. For my college graduate fam out there, this recreates the experience of falling asleep in a large lecture hall. Pekinpaw was a dope director, and these guys know a lot about that, but if you are looking for a way to fall asleep, three nerds trying to out©nerd each other, at an academic level, does it like NyQuil. These tracks are Syzurp. (But still watch ‘Bring Me The Head Of Alfredo Garcia’ and ‘The Balad of Cable Hogue.’)
